It puts the butter on its skin…. (#BACON DUCT TAPE TURKEY recipe)

…or else it gets the baster again

Meat Suit Teddy

 (Recipe and original post from Cabin Goddess & Meat Suit Teddy originally found at Chicken Skin Teddy by Victor Ivanov)

I will make this, I will have a MEAT SUIT TEDDY DAMN IT!

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Chicken Skin Teddy | Victor

Duct Tape Turkey with a Bacon Meat Suit


Kelly’s Creation

OH hell I guess I should post a recipe so I am not accused of being all bah humbugish! This was the turkey someone who had no idea how to cook a turkey made for her family when she was called into work on Thanksgiving and wanted her turkey done. She had asked the question if she just turned the oven up  really high would it cook quicker. I went OH GOD NO NO NO NO this was at 2AM and she had to be at work in 4 hours. As you can see she totally succeeded. Yep… 1-800-butterball has NOTHING on me! I wish I could find the original conversation, heck I wish I had thought to save it. I talked her through it and she was able to sleep. Apparently she did not post a note, but the boys more than likely did not move their carcasses off the couch while she was gone!

So full of myself right now! Butterball 800# has nothing on me. MUWHAHAHA Kelly Ston  Gamble |my narcasstic zen cooking ass is SO doing a full of myself dance ROFLMAO

 Kelly Stone Gamble Butterball 800# could not have been as entertaining at 2am. Thanks!
November 22, 2012 at 1:03pm

 Kriss Morton true LOL Duct tape and BEER ROFLMAO
November 22, 2012 at 1:03pm

Kriss Morton Cabin Goddess Cooks with frivolity and jazz hands……. and duct tape
Jodine Quong duct tape??? is that supposed to be a weird appetizer thing?

Jodine, honey bunny… it kind of is! Appetizers save the chef from rushing things right? Well this duct tape will too!


(This is for a small 12 – 14 lb .young turkey!)

  • 1/2 stick salted butter, softened
  • One 12-14 lb. turkey, completely thawed and all giblets removed (3 hours a pound in the fridge to thaw, so this is about a day in a half or buy it fresh).
  • 1 tablespoons salt
  • 2 teaspoons pepper
  • 2 stalks celery, cut in lengths to fit turkey cavity (1-2 inch lengths)
  • 1 medium sweet onion, such as Vidalia, quartered
  • 1 large carrot, cut in lengths to fit the turkey cavity (1-2 inch lengths)
  • 1 lb. of uncured bacon thick cut
  • 1 cup of brown sugar
  • 2 cups boiling water
  • 1 roll of duct tape
  • 1 piece of paper
  • Sharpie
  1. Adjust the oven racks so the covered roasting pan fit easily inside. Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F.
  2. Weave your bacon together as shown in the video, if you don’t already know how to do it.
  3. Rub the butter on the outside and inside the turkey. Blend the salt, pepper and paprika together. The bacon is already salty, so sprinkle the pepper on the outside (you can also add a bit of paprika) but sprinkle both salt and pepper
  4. Put the celery, onion and carrot in the cavity. Place the turkey, breast-side up, in a large roasting pan.
  5. Pour the boiling water into the pan. Cover with a tight-fitting lid and put the pan in the oven.
  6. Take a big slab of duct tape and seal that oven. Don’t give me that look, just do it! Then place a note on the door, here is my standard threat note to the family! Oh and YOU cannot OPEN the oven PERIOD, not after you close it! It has to stay closed and not have the seal broken, and NO BASTER NEEDED!IMG_9175
  7. Start a timer when the oven temperature returns to 500 degrees F. Bake for exactly 1 hour and turn off the oven. AGAIN do not open the oven door! Leave the turkey in the oven until the oven completely cools; this may take 4 to 6 hours. Reserve the pan juices and refrigerate the turkey if you are not serving it right away, I usually do either or but no matter what….
  8. If I am not going to serve it right away, I will place it in a preheated oven at 350 (I do not remove it from the pan or remove the lid) for 15 minutes and do a quick flash under the broiler for 5 to crisp up the bacon.

How to Weave the Bacon for your Turkey

What do you cook for your family on Christmas? My mom does a Prime Rib with a golden lion cut and very similar to the above. But I am a bit to broke-ass for prime rib! Happy Holidays!

BBQgeek : Bacon Wrapped Chicken Drumsticks – Adam Perry Lang’s Serious BBQ recipe

Bacon-ee GoodnessREBLOGGED from – BBQgeek : Bacon Wrapped Chicken Drumsticks – Adam Perry Lang’s Serious BBQ recipe.

Bacon.  Oh, how I love you, dear bacon.  When I ran across the recipe for bacon wrapped chicken drumsticks in Adam Perry Lang’s Serious Barbecue, I knew that I would be making them, and soon.  So, today turned out to be the glorious day.  As with all Adam’s recipes, it is a multi-step process.  The first step is to take the drumsticks and marinade them for four to twenty four hours in a wet rub of canola oil, sweet paprika, garlic salt,  and ground black pepper (one tablespoon, respectively, of paprika, garlic salt, and ground black pepper,  vegetable or canola oil, and the juice of two lemons).  After the marinade process is done, that’s when you get to test your skills as a chef.

After the marinade process is complete, Adam instructs you to remove the legs from the marinade and take on the most difficult of the process.  Each leg is to be first wrapped in bacon (with no securing toothpicks or other devices) and then wrapped in Saran wrap.  This is far easier than it sounds.  You must carefully wrap the bacon so it is closed at each end by overlapping and tucking in the loose ends.  Once the drumsticks are wrapped, they are each to be placed in a large baking dish (lasagna, brownie, or otherwise) and cooked in a cooker or home oven at 250 degrees for 50 minutes.  The interesting bit is that the drumsticks are not smoked at this stage.  You can use a low grill or an oven.  Adam specifically instructs us to place the wrapped drumsticks in a lasagna dish and to pour one half cup of water over the drumsticks.  Then you are to seal the lasagna dish with a cover of aluminum foil and allow the drumsticks to steam off.  After fifty minutes,remove the lasagna dish from your oven or cooker and let it rest on the counter for an additional thirty minutes.  After the drumsticks have rested, they are to be prepared for the grill.  I’m not completely sure but I think this entire process is meant to cook the bacon just enough so it does not slide off the drumsticks during the grilling process.

Before putting the drumsticks on the grill, you need to give them a quick brush of vegetable or canola oil.  Once the drumsticks are on the grill, they should initially get about three minutes for each quarter side to brown off the bacon.  After the first twelve minutes, the drumsticks should be moved to an elevated rack or to an indirect portion of the grill to allow them to cook for another ten to twenty minutes.

CONTINUE TO — AND GET YOUR BACON ON! BBQgeek : Bacon Wrapped Chicken Drumsticks – Adam Perry Lang’s Serious BBQ recipe.

REVIEW for recipe, I have done this over and over when I BBQ (as in wrap the sexy legs in bacon)  but this is a bit different.. so lovies, check out the book below? I am ordering it and will possibly be doing a review. What about you, what do you like wrapping your legs in? *snickering*

RECIPE FROM - Serious Barbecue: Smoke, Char, Baste, and Brush Your Way to Great Outdoor Cooking

Bacon Ranch Potato Salad

We aren’t the only ones who love the meat candy. Nutmeg Nanny does too and she took that meaty goodness and combined it with carbs and calories. Tasty tasty. Check out her awesome creation.


North: Bacon: Duster Meat Sticks


North: Bacon: Duster Meat Sticks.

This is called MAKIN’ BACON, a pure honor to another #SlaveToThePig. We here at salute you!

So along with some soft-cooked cheesy chive eggs, I made “Duster Bacon”
It didn’t write down any exact measurements, but the recipe is flexible with good results. About a half cup brown sugar in a pyrex dish. I added (1 tsp) fresh ground black pepper, 2 tsp onion powder (not salt), 1/2 tsp powdered cayenne pepper. Mix.  I added enough water to make the mix into a slurry. Added a tsp of molasses. Nuked it for about a minute or two – enough to make the mix into a hot syrup.

I coated all of the bacon (two pounds) and then broiled the bacon on drip racks.

Net result: Crunchy, Hot, and Sweet.


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Succulent Bacon Jam Roasted Chicken, Potatoes and Brussels Sprouts

Succulent Bacon Jam Roasted Chicken, Potatoes and Brussels Sprouts « FoodPornDaily.

First stop: bacon jam roasted chicken & vegetables.

Check it out, it’s this easy: smear some bacon jam under the skin and on the underside of some bone-in chicken thighs, lay those babies on some chopped veggies and you’re ready to party. The veggies end up swimming in a sea of bacony goodness. Bacony. I can’t say it enough.

bacon jam roasted chicken & vegetables

RECIPE Can be found over at


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Bacon Breadstick Focaccia from Pillsbury

Bacon Breadstick Focaccia

Plain breadsticks at your table? Never! Get ready to amaze your family and friends with bacon, pepperoni or cheese and olive versions (see TIPS below) that take breadsticks to a whole new level.

Prep Time: 15 Min
Total Time: 40 Min
Makes: 6 servings

1 can (11 oz) Pillsbury® refrigerated breadsticks (12 breadsticks)
10  slices packaged precooked bacon (from 2.1-oz package)
1 egg, beaten
1 slice packaged precooked bacon, finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon chopped fresh parsley, if desired


1 Heat oven to 375°F. Unroll dough; separate into 12 strips. Starting at center of ungreased cookie sheet, coil bacon slices with dough strips into a loose spiral, pinching ends together securely as strips are added.2Drizzle or brush egg over dough, using all of egg to fill crevices. Sprinkle with chopped bacon and parsley.3Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until edges are deep golden brown. Cut into wedges; serve warm.
Look for precooked bacon slices in the deli section of the supermarket.
Pepperoni Breadstick Focaccia: Use pepperoni slices from half of a 3.5-oz package in place of the bacon.
Cheese and Olive Focaccia: Pull 4 sticks of mozzarella string cheese apart into 16 strips. Use strips of cheese in place of bacon. Sprinkle 2 tablespoons sliced kalamata olives (instead of the chopped bacon) on top before baking.
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How To Make Maple Cured Hickory Smoked Bacon | Ballistic BBQ

HOLY SHIT I am so going to go down and get me some pork bellies! It may save some money here at the old homestead…. so what say you, wanna take the Makin’ Bacon Challenge? Ballistic BBQ has been added to the porn file!


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Creamy Bacon Gorgonzola Gnocchi | syndicated from Foodie With Family

Creamy Bacon Gorgonzola Gnocchi | Foodie With Family

We all love bacon, and if you are a vegetarian this is definitely porn for you because it is FORBIDDEN.. so go look at pictures of luscious juicy tomatoes, we got some meat candy to pimp! Both of us Bacon Whores are professed Pinners. One of us has a huge Bacon Porn pinboard over at Pinterest that I plan on sharing some of with all of you. This is from on of my all time favorite foodies. Her stuff is always fantastic, she supports bacon lovers with lots of interesting recipes, some include bacon and all are top notch! For the recipe, just click the link above! Till later.. stay lean and mean and slave to the pig!

Pillowy gnocchi lightly fried in bacon fat, then tossed into a simple pan sauce of bacon, three cheeses, parsley and green onion.


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Hey Porker, relax we are getting to it!

Bacon remembrance ribbonBacon remembrance ribbon


This is only the first day in the world of Bare with the two Bacon Whores as we gather our sources and wits and stop dipping the bacon into Nutella long enough to focus on giving all you bacon aficionados out there what you desire and need.. more bacon porn!



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